An absolute travesty is occurring in gyms across America, and it is not serving pizza to participating members; no disrespect to Planet Fitness. The “Upside Down Triangles” of society, better known by their various aliases which include “Chicken Legs”, “Jail Body”, “Johnny Bravo”, “The Flamingo”, and my personal favorite “Tip Drill” are ravaging the land with an atrocious physique. These men, and this is exclusive to men unless someone can feature a woman with the same issue, have the bad habit of never scheduling a leg day. With all the information available to us, top heavy Nephilim should not exist in 2017. So why does the trend continue? Why do consistent gym goers inconsistently focus the necessary, and what steps can be taken to alter the fitness course?
To start let’s get the cynicism out of the way. I, for one, am tired of watching these guys strut around the weight room like they are God’s gift to mankind just because they can curl my body weight. The unmitigated gall to have that much confidence knowing that we can see you stanky legg to the water foundation because your chest is too big for your body. It is hard to be impressed by your five plate max when I just saw you twerk your way to the bench press. Now that I’ve got that out of my system and have put my pettiness aside, the real goal here is to educate and assist. We could spend all day deliberating how being 6’1 250lbs with a 28 inch waist looks utterly ridiculous, but at this point in the article that’s just repeating the obvious. Without further ado let’s discuss leg day, a staple of proper fitness. Please note this is not only for the scrawny legged, there are great tips in here for everyone trying to gain a little more size in that ever tricky lower region.
Why is leg day such an afterthought to so many people? Originally, there was going to be some massively long paragraph explaining the reasons people skip leg day, but then I remembered I graduated college already. No more word counts and no more page limits which, fortunately for you, means there’s now a list. Besides, if you made it this far in the post you deserve some sort of reward. So, now presented is the top five reasons why guys avoid leg day:
- It Is Not Easy
- Squats, lunges, box jumps, leg presses, etc. are some of the hardest workouts on the planet. Think about it, when you do leg work outs it’s your body weight plus whatever amount it is that you are lifting. Why risk passing out under the tremendous pressure of a barbell, when you could get this nice bicep pump with a third of the effort? I feel you, I was there.
- Results Are Not Quick
- Relative to the conversation, leg muscles are the largest and strongest body group that you have. They are designed to hold you up, so they are always working. Every time you walk, run, hop, skip or anything else that involves movement is a work out. In order to gain size when lifting you have to break down the muscle so that it recovers stronger. Imagine the difficulty of breaking down something that is already strong. What do you think will take longer, knocking down a door or going to Fort Knox and knocking down the vault? Logic says the vault will take a considerable amount of effort and the same concept applies to your legs.
- No One Can See Your Legs
- Speaking from the perspective of living on the east coast where it is frigid for nine and a half months of the year, it is imperative that pants are worn just about all of the time. Why spend all this effort on legs when no one is going to see them? Bet money you don’t even own a full body mirror. In reality, you barely see your own legs, let alone someone else.
- The Myth On What Girls Like
- Let’s be real, unless your occupation involves physical fitness it is going to be hard to convince anyone that you lift because you enjoy “being healthy”. Calling you out on your ulterior motives, it’s perfectly natural to do things to attract the opposite sex. Skull crushers and incline presses will somewhat get the job done, but remember, women like butts and thighs just as much as we like butts and thighs; and trust me they’d rather not deal with your flat back.
- Skinny Jeans
- Now this may be a reach, but just hear me out. It is hard to deny that skinny jeans and slim straight jeans are not the fashion trend these days. I wear them all the time. Why you may ask? Because I’m fashionably conscious that’s why! There is however, a slight problem when you are constantly increasing your squat weight. Those jeans get a little tighter than they should be. Jumping up and down repeatedly to get them on, losing circulation and suffering public wardrobe malfunctions are just some of the issues. Speaking from experience, I can’t tell you how many pants I have ripped over time. The whole thing is just embarrassing. Shame always discourages and there is a ton of shame associated with ripping your pants in a public setting. But there is an answer, two words…….designer sweatpants.
By now, you are wondering what the solution to all of this is. Believe me, it is very simple. When it comes to leg work outs, just get it done! Upside down triangles just don’t appear overnight. It still takes considerable time and effort to become top heavy, so just figure out how to distribute that time and effort a little differently. That second chest day is unnecessary; spend it working on your legs. That unexpected extra day you were able to make it to the gym; spend it working on your legs. Pretty soon that effort will translate into results, and next thing you know you’re adding shorts to your attire. Find yourself a leg routine that works for you, maintain it, and understand that it is not going to be a quick fix. Regardless of how long it takes, never get discouraged. One day you’ll look down at tree trunks you’ll call for legs and realize that it wasn’t as hard as you thought.
 Actually, on second thought, Planet Fitness are you kidding me? Pizza? Really? The assumed understanding is that you are targeting the below average gym goer but that is not the way to go; there is no need to stoop into the absurd. Think about how remarkably insane that is.
 The body has stronger muscles as far as pound for pound goes, like the heart and your jaw.
 There are other ways to be healthy without hitting the weights, like being vegan.
 Having a skinny, bony, or non-protruding buttocks.